How to Survive an Ice Day with 3 Children

1. Turn the t.v. on.
2. Momentarily think about the Dr. who feels that autism is caused by t.v. exposure.
3. Quickly dismiss notion, in favor of sanity.
4. Watch multiple episodes of Dora/Diego/Kai Lan/Max and Ruby.
5. Begin to pull hair out.
6. Turn off t.v.
7. Turn on bath.
8. Let child #1 and child #2 play in water for 1 hour.
9. Dry children.
10. Chase children through the house, trying to diaper and clothe them. Allow child #2 to wear her white, sleevless portrait dress so she can dance.
11. Sit down to rest.
12. Jump up as the sound of breakage signals the demise of yet another kitchen tool.
13. Sweep kitchen floor.
14. Get paints out for child #2.
15. Observe that freshly bathed child #2 looks as if she has spent the morning playing in a coal mine.
16. Scrub child #2.
17. Hear yet another crash from the kitchen.
18. Run in to find child #1 drenched in water from the pitcher he took from refrigerator and tried to pour.
19. Re-clothe child #1, while child #3 watches from Jumpreoo.

20. Enter the living room to discover that child #2 is capable of standing in a chair to put a new DVD into the player, and make it work.
21. Briefly wonder how she can do this, yet many adults find it un-workable.
22. Briefly ponder what else she is pushing a chair up to do.
23. Take children 1-3 to your bedroom to play.
24. Let #1 and #2 dance on the bed while wearing Papi's white t-shirts as togas.

25. Hold child #2 after the inevitable round of tears due to "he pushed me down!!!"
26. Pull remaining hair out.
27. Shift child #3 to a new position in the sling.
28. Begin to identify with old-age back problems.
29. Attempt to feed children.
30. Sigh, accepting that a lunch of applesauce and Capn' Crunch is better than no lunch at all.
31. Try to take 20 seconds to feed self.
32. On second number 12, hear crash from bathroom.
33. Find child #3 with a basket of toiletries from the cabinet.
34. Wonder where she learned that the bottle of blue liquid is "Listerine. It's not to drink." (actually it is Crest mouthwash. but still.)
35. Turn on 2nd Birthday Party video in hopes of finishing now cold bowl of chili.
36. Stop eating, to go change diaper of sickly child #3.
37. Dread taking him to Dr. from item #2 if he does not improve by tomorrow.
38. Re-heat chili for 3rd time.
39. Put children in rooms for "rest time", and tell them they must remain there for a minimum of 1 hour.
40. Ponder moving to the tropics.