How To Cook Dinner on a Normal Tuesday

5:40 Decide that going for the World Record in "Consecutive Days Kitchen Has Taken a Break" is not an admirable goal

5:41 Open fridge, and stare into it

5:45 Finally decide on a Mediterranean route, and take salmon out of the freezer

5:46 Put in a pan of warm water, and hope that it thaws quickly

5:48 Add garlic, oregano, salt, pepper, thyme and olive oil to small bowl to make seasoning for fish

5:50 Remove youngest child from the top of kitchen table

5:51 Thank middle child for trying to stir fish seasoning

5:52 Add more garlic, oregano, salt, pepper, thyme and olive oil to small bowl to make second batch of seasoning for fish

5:54 Put pot of water for pasta on stove

5:55 Go outside to turn on grill

5:56 Realize that birds are using bits of mulch to attempt to make a nest on the grate of the grill

5:57 Shake fist in general direction of birds roosting in the "forest"

5:58 Go inside to get camera

5:59 Take picture of birds nest

6:00 Remove nest, hose off grates, return to grill to dry

6:05 Thank oldest child for trying to clean grates with hose

6:06 Go inside to dry shoes/pants/left ear

6:08 Put salmon on the grill

6:09 At middle child's request, go to her vegetable garden to visit tomato plant

6:10 Adequately admire the tiny red tomato

6:12 Given the local rabbit's propensity for eating ripe vegetables, decide middle child should pick tomato before it disappears

6:13 Go back inside to get camera

6:14 Take picture of chief farmer and assistant(s)

6:15 Take picture of chief farmer's very first piece of home-grown produce

6:16 Wash tomato

6:17 Enjoy seeing middle child eat her feast

6:18 Go inside to get fish turner, realize that water on stove has been boiling for 10 minutes, and kitchen is now roughly as humid as a Brazilian rain forest. Add pasta.

6:19 Turn salmon

6:21 Remove fairly well done fish from grill

6:22 Begin looking for colander to drain pasta

6:25 While muttering to self about where colander could possibly be, use pot lid to drain pasta

6:26 Fall over in shock as oldest child asks to eat dinner

6:27 Manage to find 3 clean plastic plates to feed 3 assistants

6:28 Send them outside to eat

6:29 Manage to put fish, pasta and salad on a plate for self

6:30 Walk through the back door, and realize it was a good idea to eat outside, as the patio floor is littered with bits of fish, smushed spaghetti noodles, and marshmallows (don't ask)

6:31 Praise oldest child who is eagerly eating salmon (and his first home-cooked meal in several years)

6:33 Hose down patio

6:35 Thank oldest child for attempting to help clean the grill with hose

6:36 Pour water off of plate

6:37 Eat

6:41 Turn to admire children who have enjoyed their home-cooked dinner, and realize that they are covered in fish, pasta, paint, mud, and dried bits of sticky marshmallow (which has now collected dirt) (not only dirt, but slightly pink/green/yellow hued dirt from the multi-color marshmallows)

6:42 Sigh

6:45 Take stack of plates, forks, cups inside, and survey wreckage from meal prep

6:48 Find folder of takeout menus for tomorrow's dinner.